I Tried to Infiltrate the Church of Scientology but Accidentally Spent Six Years with Christian Scientists

It’s the 21st century yet people still blindly follow religious doctrine; the worst offenders being devotees of the Church of Scientology. After watching three videos about it on YouTube, I decided that it was time for the representatives of the church to answer to the allegations of their aggressiveness towards enemies of the religion and mistreatment of its members — and I elected myself to be the person to get the job done.

Unfortunately, I farted the whole thing up and ended up living with a family of Christian Scientists for six years instead.

I knew this would be a risky endeavor, but as soon as I got off my shift at Best Buy I was going to infiltrate the Church of Scientology. I was going to be a vanguard. A maverick. A martyr, if need be. I was going to get so many subscribers to my YouTube channel (JaketheSnake6669 — please subscribe!). Yeah, there have recently been a lot of documentaries outing the religion, but I haven’t watched any of those, because the credit card I used to subscribe to Netflix expired. Maybe if I had I would have realized that the Religious Technology Center is in California — and not Montclair, New Jersey.